


Tell Him What He Wants To Hear

by RiverRunningFree



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Closeted Dean Winchester, College AU, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Gay Castiel (Supernatural), Homophobia, Homophobic John Winchester, Homophobic Language, Human Castiel (Supernatural), Internalized Homophobia, John Winchester Being an Asshole, M/M, Not Happy, Openly Gay Castiel (Supernatural), Scared Dean Winchester, Teenage Castiel/Teenage Dean Winchester, Young Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-07
Updated: 2019-05-07
Packaged: 2020-02-27 11:35:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18738208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RiverRunningFree/pseuds/RiverRunningFree
Summary: Every day Dean Winchester sees Castiel Novak. They're friends. But never more. They can't be more. Because every night Dean Winchester goes home and sees his father.





	Tell Him What He Wants To Hear

**Author's Note:**

> Warning:  
> -Homophobic language  
> -This does not have a happy ending

It was Monday.

Most people hate Mondays. The start of a new and unfulfilling week of work or school, slaving away in monotony and despair. Nothing but dread should fill a person on Monday mornings. But not for Dean. Dean loved Mondays.

Because Monday meant he would see Cas.

He had already woken up half an hour before his alarm. Brushed his teeth and taken a shower long before he needed to. He had already spent another half an hour in the mirror petting his hair into place and trying to make himself look pretty. But not too pretty mind you. Like, ruggedly pretty. James Dean pretty. Yeah, there we go. He was just trying to look like James Dean and be... manly....sure.

He had yelled good morning to Sammy and made him his lunch. Then he'd bolted down the steps to his Baby. He'd hopped in his car and gunned it down the road, not even bothering to smother the grin that was growing on his face. Today, he would get to see Cas.

He loved seeing Cas.

He never saw Cas over the weekend, even though the blue-eyed young man had invited him to come hang out a couple times but Dean had said no cause... well, he had to.

Dean stumble-ran out of the car and jogged over towards the building that housed his eight a.m. English class. The class he shared with Cas. Along with World History, Cell Biology, and Advanced French, that is. Ever since they had realized they were going to end up at the same college, Dean and Cas had started sinking up whatever classes they could together. The result being that Dean got to see his boy almost every day. Several times a day. They were... best friends.

He spotted Cas straight away. The young man was striding down the hallway towards their classroom, messenger bag slung over one shoulder and headphones in his ears. His black, unruly hair was in its usual "sex hair" look, spiking out in all directions as if he'd never heard of what a brush was. His tan trench coat was only slightly wrinkled with a fresh coffee stain on the cuff, the culprit of which was gripped loosely in his right hand. Cas always seemed to be in his own little world. He didn't get caught up too much in what was going on around him, just dazing off into space. Especially in the morning. Cas was  _not_ a morning person.

And Dean thought it was adorable.

 

"Heya Angel!" Dean called out, rushing up behind Cas and swooping around to be in directly in front of him. Cas merely grunted in response.

"You ready for this exam? I heard it's a doozy. I just can't wait for the torture to begin!" Dean chirped, knowing full well that Cas wasn't anywhere near awake yet. The other boy narrowed his eyes at him again and continued walking, causing Dean to walk backward in response so he could keep talking.

"You know, you really shouldn't give me the stink eye like that. Otherwise, I might decide not to be nice to you this morning..." Cas gave him a sideways glance and grunted noncommittally. "... _cause_ I got you breakfast!" Dean whipped out a fresh Raspberry-filled pastry from a little bakery that Dean had stopped by on the way there. Cas' eyes widen momentarily before he snatched it out of Dean's outstretched hand and began devouring it with gusto.

"You are forgiven for trying to make me converse before 1 o'clock in the afternoon," Cas replied, muffling around his pastry.

 Dean grinned and pivoted to sling an arm around his friend's shoulders as they entered their classroom, heading for the fourth row on the end. Their special spot. "Anytime Angel, anytime."

\---------

By the time they finished their first class, Cas was acting more like a human again since he now had downed three cups of coffee and a pastry. The boys packed their books back up and headed out into the hallway, Dean trying to ignore how his face had blushed furiously when Cas had brushed a piece of fuzz out of his hair, his hand lingering just slightly too long. But that wasn't anything new between them. The two young men had gotten more and more touchy lately, much to Dean's pleasure and yet also dread. It was only little things. Hugs that lasted too long. Hands brushing "accidentally" against each other. Even Cas massaging his hands up and down Dean's back to rub in some sunblock when they were at the beach.

Yet every time Dean blushed, without fail.

Their next two classes went smoothly, boring, but smooth. Dean couldn't help but lean over to Cas whispering close in his ear every five minutes to make comedic jokes about the professor. And Cas couldn't help but giggle quietly every single time. He had a weakness for Dean's dumb jokes. They both knew it.

 

\-----------

 

"Okay, so you know that indie rock band that I am totally obsessing over every single day?"

Dean glanced up from his sandwich to give Cas a smirk, "Wait. You like indie rock?  _Whaaaaaaat?_ "

"Assbutt." Cas huffed, rolling eyes and ignoring Dean's snort at his comeback. "Look, they're actually having a concert in town next weekend. Here. In our crummy little town. They're coming  _here_."

Dean leaned forward and snatched Cas' banana off his plate, peeling it only slightly too slow to be normal, "Uh huhhhh. And you are apparently very excited about this. I wonder where this conversation is going?" He grinned, pulling back the last peel from the banana.

"Well,  _obiviously_ I want to go. And  _obviously_ , I want you to go with me..." Cas' voice tapered off slightly as he watched Dean unconsciously half-deep throat his banana before biting off, chewing, and swallowing in a series of fluid motions. "...and uh..." Cas cleared his throat quickly, "...and since it's Pride Month, they're doing a special concert to celebrate the LGBTs. Which I thought it would be cool since I haven't done anything like that since I came out last year..."

Dean felt his insides freeze. It wasn't because he didn't know that Cas was gay. Heck, he had been the one supporting him when he told his parents. That wasn't the problem. Dean himself was Bi. But acknowledging that. Going out to a public event like that... wasn't possible. It just wasn't. No matter how much he wanted it to be. "That's great dude. But I can't go. I promised I'd help my Uncle Bobby in at the salvage yard next weekend." He scratched the back of his neck and ducked his head away from Cas' imploring gaze, "So, I guess you'll just have to tell me about it the Monday after it, at school.....I'm sorry Cas. I wish I could go."

Cas nodded solemnly and studied the man closely. "That's okay. It was a stupid idea anyways." He replied quietly.

"No!" Dean's head jerked up, eyes desperate. "It's not stupid! You should go. You have the ability to go to an event in public and take pride in your sexuality. You-you should ...take advantage of it." He could feel Cas' eyes on him. He knew he'd said too much, but he just wanted Cas to understand. Understand how lucky he was. Cas' family had accepted him with open arms, and none of his friends had ever given him a hard time because of it. Going to the concert decked out in rainbows would bring nothing but joy to him.

But not everyone was that lucky.

Dean finally looked up to meet Cas' eyes. Those beautiful blue eyes. They looked fairly concerned, but all Dean could see was their vibrancy, almost like they were filled with angelic grace. His gaze drifted down slightly and he unconsciously focused on his lips. Those rough, chapped lips that looked like something belonging to a cowboy out of an old western movie.... Dean licked his own lips in thought before quickly snapping back up to Cas' eyes.

"I need to go." Dean stood up quickly before Cas could protest, grabbed his plate and practically sprinted for the caf entrance, "I'll see you tomorrow Cas." He called over his shoulder, not daring to look back.

Cas wanted to chase after him. He wanted to make Dean talk to him. Hell, he also wanted to kiss him on those perfect, lush lips, but some things just didn't help certain situations. He knew that Dean would be missing their last class of the day, but that wouldn't have made a difference to Dean. He had more worrisome things on his mind. Cas knew he shouldn't have brought up the concert, but he had hoped that maybe, just maybe... but of course Dean wouldn't come. And he had gotten upset. 

Cas wasn't an idiot.

He knew what was bothering his Dean.

And it hurt.

Because he didn't know how to change it.

 

\----------------

 

"Dad I'm home!" Dean threw his backpack on the table and started pulling out his books to study. He heard the heavy footsteps of his father coming down the stairs, stopping a few feet away.

"You're home early."

Dean glanced up to meet his father's confused glance, "So are you."

"Not many customers today. Boss sent us home early."

"Professor was sick. Class was canceled."

John grunted in response, heading towards the refrigerator and pulling out a beer. "You want one?"

Dean shook his head. He was still a little panicked from bolting out on Cas this afternoon. He owed the poor guy an explanation but he didn't know how to tell him what happened without telling him  _everything._ He wished he could go with Cas to the concert. Oh, how he wished. He wished he could pull a big rainbow flag over his and Cas' shoulders, jumping up and down to that strange indie rock music that Cas loves so much. He wished that on the last song he could pull Cas into a bruising kiss and taste in his mouth, never letting him go. He wished he could go on dates with him, make out with him, maybe even move in with him.

Oh how he wished.

But he couldn't.

"Hey Dean, so we these two dudes come into the shop today, right?" Dean was pulled from his thoughts as his father launched into another unnecessary narrative from work. "They come in with this beautiful Jaguar. I'm talking a sleek black beauty, right? That car was a dream. But it's brakes were shot. So there I am, working on this masterpiece, when I suddenly look up, and BAM!" 

Dean raised an eyebrow, worried about where this was leading.

"I look up and see these two  _dudes_ , who I thought were coworkers or something,  _kissing_. In public! The dudes were freakin' homos! I mean what the heck? How did something that's just so  _wrong_ become normalized like this? In public! Kissing!"

Dean's eyes dropped to the floor.

"It's disgusting. I mean come on. Bleh." John rubbed his face and carried his beer into the next room, calling over his shoulder to Dean. "I'm so glad you and Sammy aren't gay. Mary would have been so disappointed."

That.

That right there.

Dean shook his head, a silent tear falling down his cheek.

That was why he could never let his wishes come true.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys liked it. I'm definitely pulling from personal experience on this one, so it was a little hard to write. Please let me know your thoughts on this one! I feed off of comments. I'm only slightly obsessive :)


End file.
